Biochem Blogs

Biochemistry blog, science writing

The one-word professor goes to a committee meeting

Clay Clark

Clay Clark – @biochemprof I'm on ScienceSeeker-Microscope

It’s been a while since we’ve checked in with the one-word professor, although we heard that it took some time for him to recover from the “discussion” of evolution. TOWP insists on limited verbiage and has strict rules on how many words should be used to make a point. Usually one. Two at most. Three becomes a “conversation,” which should be avoided at all costs.

So, we were delighted to hear that TOWP was asked to cover a recent committee meeting for one of the senior faculty, because we knew that his synopsis of the meeting would be succinct, if not entertaining.

The story started with a one-way discussion between the senior faculty member and TOWP.

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The one-word professor defends evolution


Clay Clark

Clay Clark - @biochemprof

An interesting discussion occurred on a popular social networking site¬†following a post about evolution theory. The following represents excerpts from the discussion. Because The One-Word Professor believes that verbiage is overrated, his part of the discussion is succinct. We do, however, get to delve into the inner workings of TOWP’s mind. The content represents an actual discussion and was edited very little, because it’s funny enough on it’s own. Even though we (the editors) are at risk of a reader invoking Poe’s Law, we recreate the conversation for you here. While the conversation is humorous, the topic is quite serious since only ~40% of Americans believe in evolution.

Believer 1: All those evolutionists that “study science” are so smart. But seriously, who is more dumb, those who believe without question, or those that come up with crap answers? I guess I shouldn’t let the willing forgetfulness bother me.

TOWP: Hmmm.

Grant deadline next week. Have to edit and return paper by Friday. Hey, what the hell is this?? “Crap answers”? “Study Science”? Is he f***ing kidding? Leave it alone, TOWP. Leave it alone. (After several “likes” of the post) Aww sh*t, now I have to get involved.

Believer¬†1: It baffles me to see the unwillingness and laziness when it comes to actually thinking about how this incredibly complex world was made. I don’t think that scientists are dumb people, but it comes down to the point of accepting or rejecting the Truth. How can you start with goop and end up with this?

TOWP: Evolution?

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The one-word professor


Because verbiage is overrated

Clay Clark

Clay Clark

By Clay Clark – @biochemprof





Student: Do I need to know this for the exam?

Student: Will you ask us this on the exam?
TOWP: Possibly

Student: What part of the lecture notes should we study for the exam?
TOWP: Everything

Student: I know we just finished the exam, but will you have them graded by tomorrow?

Administrator: We’re giving you two days to complete the five-page proposal so that we have sufficient time over the next two weeks to put together a report. Why can’t you do this?
TOWP: Expletive

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