Because verbiage is overrated

Clay Clark

By Clay Clark – @biochemprof

Student: Do I need to know this for the exam?
TOWP: Yes

Student: Will you ask us this on the exam?
TOWP: Possibly

Student: What part of the lecture notes should we study for the exam?
TOWP: Everything

Student: I know we just finished the exam, but will you have them graded by tomorrow?
TOWP: No

Administrator: We’re giving you two days to complete the five-page proposal so that we have sufficient time over the next two weeks to put together a report. Why can’t you do this?
TOWP: Expletive

Student: I missed the lecture today. Can I come to your office and let you explain what I missed?
TOWP: Fuhgeddaboudit

Student: (On Phone) I was supposed to register two days ago, will you release the hold on my account? I don’t need advising this semester.
TOWP: Incredulous

Student: I took your class last year. Will you sign this form to let me retroactively drop your class?
TOWP: Hunh!??

Administrator: Why do you have to purchase a new freezer from this grant? You already have one in your lab.
TOWP: Really???

Student: Can I call you this weekend if there’s material I don’t understand for the test?
TOWP: Hail-No

Student: (On Phone) I was supposed to register yesterday but forgot. I happen to be on campus at the moment. Can I come to your office right now for advising?
TOWP: Unavailable

Student: What do you mean I can’t cruise the web while sitting in your biochemistry lecture? Am I ever going to use this stuff in the “real” world?
TOWP: Troubling

Student: I posted a question on the help forum at 3 am this morning (the day of the exam). Why didn’t you answer my question?
TOWP: Unf***ingbelievable

Student: I don’t know why you don’t have the time to do this. Everyone knows that professors only work three hours a week, when they stand here and lecture.
TOWP: Frac-me